February 1, 2007 at 10:03 am (art, interesting, personal)

I lugged this home yesterday, all eight pounds of it:


Can you even really tell what it is? It’s a box full of plasticine clay, the kind of clay I’ve been using to make my little sculptures I’ve been posting here. But instead of buying it in little tiny quantities like I normally do, I sucked it up and plunked down $40 to buy more of it than I’ve ever bought at one time before. It’s so fucking beautiful to me – this box of potential. I really don’t know what I’m going to do with it, and I love that.

I did something similar this weekend, too. I bought a canvas bigger than I’ve ever worked on and bought paints nicer than I’ve ever worked with. What is going on with me? Whatever it is, it makes me pretty happy. I feel as though something’s been shaken loose and freed up inside of me and now I can take all these weird little leaps of faith. Maybe it’s the yoga or the fact that I’ve been in therapy for a year and a half. Or maybe because I finally have a day job where people are nice to me and I really like going into work. Whatever. I almost don’t care what it is. I just hope it doesn’t stop.


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